Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do

Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do, originally uploaded by Mr Atrocity.

Right now I hurt. This is entirely a result of my own (mis)behaviour over the weekend so no sympathy is necessary.

It all started out quietly enough with the first decent lie-in I've had in ages on the Saturday morning. Having rolled out of bed and cleansed myself I set about making another quiche ready for the afternoon where Tinseltroos had called her chums together to help her celebrate her birthday. I wandered into town and got to Lincoln's Inn Fields at about 5 o'clock. Much wine and food was consumed and a quantity of Frisbee played. As the clock headed for 8 o'clock we packed out belongings, did our recycling and headed into the West End for an evening's karaoke.

I've never done karaoke before but I was canny enough to know that my limited range baritone voice was not going to be suitable for most of the tunes and ahead of time I thought that Johnny Cash and Ian Dury were the best bets to fit in my vocal spectrum. In the end I did passable (I think) versions of "Ring of Fire" and "Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll" and very non-passable versions of "Money For Nothing", "Jump" and a few other tunes that frankly I ought to have known better than to attempt. It didn't help having three members of the party who are highly trained singers but we hopeless amateurs must busk it as well as we can. Mawbius and I did a beautiful duet on Goldie Lookin' Chain's "Guns Don't Kill People Rappers Do" complete with authentic accents and terminology (hem hem). Sisoftroos did stellar versions of "D.I.V.O.R.C.E." and "Jolene" with a frighteningly convincing accent whilst Tinseltroos lit up the karaoke booth with electric renditions of "It's Raining Men", "I Dreamed A Dream" and "The Immigrant Song". According to authenticated third party witness reports we were the loudest room in the karaoke bar. Go us.

Today I have been nursing a very hung over Tinseltroos and then headed east across London to Rotherhithe where I met Tommy Dog, Miss Weeza and Joopie for a few beers and a Sunday roast. This cleared out the last cobwebs of my hangover and now I'm just a bit sleepy and my throat hurts and my legs ache and and and...

Too much fun for one weekend.