Monday, March 05, 2007

Social Pariah

I have a new enemy. I do not know his or her name, but I have come across many minions. My hatred is directed toward the evil bastard who designed the new Sony Ericsson Walkman phone. "I *crappy Sony Ericsson logo* music" says the ad. Really? Is that so? What I want to know is what kind of sick mind thinks that putting a small, wretchedly bad quality speaker into a mobile phone and then connecting that up to its MP3 play is a good idea? It's a hateful idea, and it's clearly a conscious one. All phones must have a speaker, I understand that, they must also be tiny and thus poor quality. It is bad enough that we have to listen to ring-tones which loudly announce the owner's wacky personality everytime one of their asinine friends feels the need to speak to them, it is quite another to give these cretins the ability to play their dull, formulaic music in a loud but completely lo-fi manner during the few moments of respite we used to get between calls.

Riding on buses has become a nightmare. Who thought this was a good idea? How can the designers have seen this as anything other than carte blanche for these dull people, with dull personalities and duller taste in music to try and force us to believe that they are individuals worth listening to because their phone can broadcast their fascinatingly diverse musical library to all and sundry? It fascinates me that you never see the truly "different" or "edgy" people behave like this, the ones whose musical taste might be a little left of centre and might be actually interesting or stimulating to hear. Ever since these phones came out all I have heard is generic R 'n' B and chart music being played by anonymous latter-day Charles and Charlotte Pooters as they go about their McLives. That these people think it's an OK way to behave is bad, but most of them are probably too dumb to know any better. The person who should have known better is the designer who made this situation possible. Sir or madam, when I find you, you are in seven different shades of shit.

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