It's not a bad effort but...

This is too good not to have a go at. Mike Johnson has posted a few famous photographs and appended comments of the sort they'd probably get if they'd been placed on flickr or the like. OK, I'm game, I can be facetious with the best of 'em so here's my offering :

Stephen Shore

Hi Steve,

I'm not quite sure what your trying to say with this snap. From all the detail it looks like you've got one of those big bellows cameras like the old guys use. I guess it must have taken you so long to set up that the subject wandered off hey? It's a shame. If you use of the new Canon 30D cameras they start up in 0.2 seconds so you can make sure you don't miss your shot! I also kind of think you should crop that pole out on the left as it's distracting. It's very common for inexperienced photographers not to know how to crop (or to forget to do it at all!!!) but you'll learn with some more practice.

-captainphotoz

Josef Koudelka

Hey, Josef. Wow, seems to me like yu missed a whole bunch of chances with this snap. There's the kid in fancy dress (pity he's not smiling tho') and there's horses but you kinda missed them all. It's a shame you could have taken a great shot here if you learned to wait and look a bit better.

Best,
photoguru

Albert Watson

Al, I can't freakin' believe it!!!! Most people on this group would kill to photo that guy out of the Rolling Stones (that's Mick Jaeger right?) and you blew it!!!! I guess if I were in the same position I'd have got too excited and not had the patience to wait for that smoke to clear!!??!!! Oh well, bad luck eh???? I guess you'll have learned for next time!!!!!

-krazyKaroline

Horst P. Horst

Horst P Horst? Hey that's a cool avatar name, wish I'd thought of it! I kind of like this capture tho. You should crop it more closely round the woman cos she's really the focus of the image and your eye's need to be drawn to that. Plus that big shadow is distracting. I think the background is kinda boring too. Maybe if you had a big sunset or something that could jazz it up. She just looks like she's sad at a wall, and c'mon who's ever been that upset with a wall. You need to give your pictures a story to make them great. It's OK I guess.

-stinkyPete

Robert Capa

Hey Bob,

No disrespect but you know we can hardly see what's goin on here! What you need to do is use a tripod and a longer lens (longer lenses are like zooms) This would let you stand on the beach while you snap your buddy here. I kinda like "black and white" for those "arty" shots but you know nothing says beach holiday more than blue skies and yellow sand. Maybe if you used a polarizer filter you could get some of that if you shot colour? Just trying to help you out!

-KeenJim

Andre Kertesz

Bonjour Andre! (That's the only french I know ha ha ha)

Hey, dude, I think you got confused and put your eBay "product shot" on the photo group? It's kind of a nice fork though, how much is the reserve? I need some new cutlery. Is it just this one fork, or is there a whole set? A tip: When you're doing these shots for your auctions try and use more even lighting and shoot it in colour, ok? That way your item looks more appealing. Bet you're feeling pretty embarrassed now huh? Did you put your holiday photos on your eBay auction too?!!???? Ha ha ha LOL!!!!!

-Lou




I've tried to pick photographers that weren't "featured" in the original article and I should probably 'fess up and mention that the Shore, Koudelka and Kertesz pictures are three of my favourite pieces of art ever created and writing stupid comments about them was tougher than I thought it was going to be.