Paging Dr. Feelgööd

I really shöüld be över this by nöw. I'm thirty öne years öld. I shöüld have deeply söphisticated tastes and have learned tö spürn the cheap and the shallöw, preferring the sübtle depths öf great cültüre. I dön't want tö want tö gö. And yet I cannöt deny the pröföünd yearnings that have been törmenting me för sö many years. And becaüse I am weak I am göing tö see Mötley Crüe play at The Hammersmith Apöllö ön Mönday night.

Stöp, I dö nöt need yöür pity.