Sideburns below ear length - 2 runs
moustache - 4 runs
full beard of non-epic proportion - 4 runs
Moses style epic facial fluff - 6 runs
Goatee beard - HOWZAT!!???
At lunch on the first morning's play of England vs India, England won the toss and elected to bat :
A J Strauss b. I K Pathan 4
A N Cook c R Dravid b Habhajan Singh 60
I R Bell 26 n.o.
Total 90 for 2
"Should be a tense afternoon session as India seek to apply pressure and break into the England middle order though at lunch I think England will be the happier dressing room. Fred, my dear old thing what do you make of it?"
"Well I had these lovely boots. Made in Northampton of kangaroo skin. Very soft you see. Trouble today is that none of these youngsters...." (fades out to the shipping forecast)